


I Don't Believe In Love (Why Don't you Make Me?)

by metus_noctis (orphan_account)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alternate Universe, Cuties, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Falling In Love, Feelings, Fluff, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Immortal Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Soft Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:15:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22323937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/metus_noctis
Summary: Magnus Bane did not believe in love. Alec Lightwood was there to prove him wrong.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 84





	I Don't Believe In Love (Why Don't you Make Me?)

**Author's Note:**

> it's been 84 years

_Magnus Bane did not believe in love._

No, he could never believe in something as shallow and petty as love. It was _stupid_ ; a concept so over-nourished and mundane that made him sick to even think about. Magnus Bane did not believe in love and he never would.

Over the course of his many, many years of life, Magnus had indulged in innumerable relationships. Some more complicated than others, some only seen and treated as flings, one time things, silly urges. Others, as serious connections, equal-effort fueled. Whatever they were, one thing was always for sure; they weren't real. They _never_ were. They felt forced, awkward. Even some of the relationships that Magnus really invested in proved to be nothing but greater failures. And, with his many hundred years, and lots of personal experience, Magnus was entirely certain if one was to so strongly believe that love did not exist, it would be him. And there you have it. Love was a foreign concept to the old warlock, and quite frankly, he intended to keep it that way.

Never in his life had the walls of his love-despising protection shell broken. There were certain people that had managed as much as scratches on the surface of it, like Camille, but that was it. Just light scrapping, attempt but never effort. So, yes, even if it did exist, Magnus had never felt it. All he'd ever felt was hope and joy, two emotions that always came with agony and heartache, instead of blossoming into beautiful things like love and trust. And while Magnus had heard of other people feeling them, he was positive that they were either lying to their partners or to themselves. Because love did not exist, and if it did then it would always be cursed to lead into heartbreak and sorrow. Without it, Magnus only spared himself the pain.

It was moments like these that made him think so hard about his life and all the decisions he'd made in the span of it. Moments where he'd stand in his balcony, a martini in his left hand, a blue spark dancing around the right, glowing cat eyes absent-mindedly locked onto the buildings and skyscrapers in front of him. Moments prior to which another one of his friends -- warlock or not -- had visited his apartment only to announce their engagement or pregnancy to him happily. Moments where he really did start to doubt his beliefs, only to think back to every mistake he'd made in the past and put his wards up steadier than ever. It was stupid, really, how he had to let himself become weak only to rise stronger.

Magnus had been thinking so intently that he hadn't notice the two knocks on his door or the worried Alec Lightwood stepping into his apartment afterwards. Seems like he hadn't bothered to lock after Dot had left, her bright smile carved on her face like a bitter reminder of something everybody but him seemed to have found. He had been thinking so intently that he also didn't notice the hesitant steps taken towards him until a steady warm hand made contact with his muscled shoulder. He flinched, blue flames growing bigger in alarm, cat eyes masked by normal brown ones. He turned around, only to be met with furrowed eyebrows and a concerned flutter of long eyelashes. An oddly comforting hazel gaze locked to his, the hand on his shoulder still as sturdy as ever.

“ _Alexander_ ”, he breathed, visibly relaxing at the sight of a familiar face.   
“Sorry about... _tha_ t”, he said, waving his right hand around lazily. “What brings you here?”

“ _Oh_ , uhm, _well_ ”, Alec stuttered, his eyes seeming to travel back and forth on the ground, or anywhere else at that, _anywhere_ , as long as it wasn't on the warlock. He cleared his throat and finally looked at the shorter man, hand falling on his side. “I was going to ask for some help back at the Institute, but seems like you're busy right now.”

Magnus did not know why, but something inside him stirred at the sight of Alec making a move to turn back and leave. He opened his mouth to say something, the words seeming to catch in his throat. “ _Alexander_ , no, I'm... _available_ , right now. If the offer still stands.”

“Hardly an offer. More like an obligation”

“Oh, there's no such thing as obligation when it comes to the _High Warlock of Brooklyn_ and his duty to help when needed. Besides,”, he pauses to sigh, airy movements waving his martini from side to side before he takes a sip. “I'd do just about anything to take my mind off of things right now.”

“Right”, Alec agrees, lingering his gaze a second or two longer with a heavy sigh. “You okay?”

“Of course. When am I not?”

For some odd reason, Alec found it impossible to believe the warlock. The look of utter disbelief gave Magnus the answer he dreaded to receive. “Wanna talk about it?”

Magnus sighs. If there was one person that he'd rather never mention his beliefs to, it would be Alec Lightwood. And yet, he seemed to be the only person who cared to listen.

“There's nothing to talk about. I just don't understand how people do it. How they're so sure what to feel.”

Alec considers his words with a slight tilt of the head, and Magnus gets the sudden urge to coo at him but he ignores it. Silly him. “Continue?”

“I don't understand how people identify love. I don't understand how they think it's real”, he confesses, and somehow the words seem to be flowing out of him with newfound ease. Maybe it's the willingness of someone to listen, or the many bottled up thoughts bursting out of him. Or maybe, it was the safety of Alec's presence, the ensured trust between them that neither had mentioned but somehow both felt. Either way, for once in his life, he felt safe to talk without being judged for who he was or what he believed. So he continued. “Because that's the thing, it's _not_ real. It doesn't exist. The concept of love is stupid and mundane and _nonexistent_.”

Instead of frowning at him like everyone did, Alec only smiled, eyes sparkling with amusement. “You really believe that?”

“Well I wouldn't say that if I didn't, would I?”

“Yeah, I suppose you're right. But you know, it's odd”, Alec finally says, taking a step closer to Magnus who had now stepped inside along with the shadowhunter. “You're a warlock, you're _immortal_. You'd think you'd be all about love and relationships”

“Oh, don't get me wrong”, Magnus smiles teasingly, “I've been with many, _many_ people before, Alexander. I just know there was never really anything there.”

“And how do you know that?”, he presses, taking another step forward.

“They never lasted long. And they always felt fake.”

“You know, stamina isn't all that important in a relationship for it to be considered scarce”

“ _Christ Almighty!_ ”, laughs Magnus, at this rate, both at Alec's adorable assumption, and the irony of his curse, him being the only son of the Demon Asmodeus and all. “The _relationships_ , Alexander. They never lasted long”

“ _Oh_ ”, is all Alec could say, a flush dusting his cheeks and neck. He hides his face in his hands in embarrassment, refusing to look Magnus in the eye, his words muffled. “ _Oh_ , I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought you meant--”

Magnus only laughs, a hearty, honest bark of laughter. A genuine response, the most real emotion he'd ever shown. He realises this, and it terrifies him as much as it excites him. “Don't you worry, Shadowhunter. I should have specified”

When Magnus finally stops laughing and Alec shows his ( _less red_ ) face to the warlock again, the air between them seems to have changed suddenly. Alec takes a hesitant step forward, his hands fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket nervously.

“So you've never been in love?”

“ _Never_. Not once. I don't believe anyone has”

“That's not true”

“ _Oh_?”, Magnus raises an eyebrow, head cocked to the side. “And how would you know? Don't tell me you've been in love”

Alec panics for a moment, his feelings were a sensitive topic that he'd leave unresolved since he was a child, but with the constant support of Izzy, he was finally sure what they meant. As a kid, he'd felt things for his parabatai, Jace, that he couldn't quite identify, but he'd always thought of them as love. But now, after meeting Magnus, he was sure that wasn't the case. The moment he laid eyes on the powerful, sassy warlock, he knew no feeling could compare to that. And just like that, he'd decided to suck it up and accept that, oddly enough, he was in love with _Magnus Bane_.

The same Magnus Bane that believed that love did not exist.

The same Magnus Bane that had never felt strongly for anyone before.

Alec certainly had a thing for guys who had zero chance of returning his feelings.

“Pfft, _what_? _Me_? _In love_?”, he jokes, trying his best to look like he wasn't giving Magnus heart-eyes every time they stood in the same room. “ _Noo_ , that's stupid. I'm not in love. I've never been”

“Oh, that's good. You understand, then?”

“I do”, he says, choosing his words carefully. _Right_. Alec Lightwood was in love with Magnus Bane and he was determined to shoot his shot even if the chances where down to about zero-point-five of Magnus requiting what he felt. _Right_. He could do this. _You can do this, Alec Lightwood_. “But that doesn't mean I agree with you.”

Magnus lets his body dance around the air once again, his expression of pure curiosity. “You don't?”

“No, I don't”, Alec ensures, taking a double-step so as to stand right in front of Magnus. “Because love does exist”

Magnus moves half a step forward himself, some sort of higher power seeming to control him. He rests one hand on Alec's chest and smirks. “ _I don't believe you_ ”, he muses, and without thinking, he leans forward to whisper in the younger's ear. “Why don't you make me?”

Alec's blush only fortifies at that, but his determination doesn't cease for a second. He smiles flirtatiously and steps away.

“You see, Magnus, love is not one but many things at once. It's hope, it's trust, faith, devotion, dedication. It's the lack of oxygen in your lungs every time they enter a room,”, he takes Magnus's left hand and places it on his heart. “It's your heart picking up speed every time they walk by,”, he walks around him, keeping a teasing distance, not quite touching yet persistently there. He leans in and whispers, “It's the tingles you get when they stand close enough for you to feel their breath against your skin.”

When he pulls back, he notices Magnus's eyes have closed. He takes a deep breath before continuing.

“Love is _complicated_. It's _stupid_. It's _confusing_. And effort from both sides is required. But once you've found the right person, it's the best thing that could ever happen to you.”

Magnus hesitantly blinks up at Alec, all these newfound emotions eating him up. He wants them gone, wants the confusion and doubt replaced by the reassurance of believing that something he doesn't own doesn't exist, but at the same time, he wants to believe Alec and let him guide him through the shaky steps leading up to love. He wants to _try_ , for once, and he knows that Alec wants the same. As long as they try together, trying will always be an option.

“Have you found the right person, Alexander?”, he whispers, because this moment seems almost too perfect to be real, because Magnus feels like he might break it if he speaks louder. But with their close proximity, Alec hears. Alec always hears when Magnus wants to be heard. There's a warmth in his chest that only seems to strengthen by the second, and when Alec looks at him with careful but determined hazel eyes, he knows he's making the right decision of trying for once in his endless life.

“ _Yeah_ ”, Alec breathes, eyes locked on Magnus's lips. “Yeah, I think I have”

“Stupidly enough,”, Magnus admits, hand rising to rest on Alec's cheek. “I think I may just have, as well”

Alec flashes a genuine tight-lipped smile and cups Magnus's hand on his cheek with his own. “I'm glad to hear that”

“You know, I actually envy you”, he confesses. “You're only, _what_? Twenty _three_? _Five_? And you already seem to have figured everything out. I'm centuries old and only know seem to wake up”

“And that's perfectly fine”, Alec reassures, squeezing his hand. “Sometimes... sometimes it takes time for someone to realise their feelings. Even if it means it might take centuries like it took you. But what matters is that you've finally found someone willing to try with you”, he smiles, and he rests his forehead against Magnus's own affectionately. “Besides, I'm actually glad you only now want to make a change. I can't imagine anyone else doing this with you”

“Woah there, slow down, tiger”, Magnus jokes, tilting his head back to smile at Alec as he intertwines their left hands. “Who said my right person was you?”

Alec seriously seems to consider what he said for a moment and Magnus feels sorry for him for laughing. “Alexander, I'm only joking. I want to give love a chance. With _you_ ”

“Well, that's good", the shadowhunter says, in a somewhat awkward but ever-loving manner, and as if the moment couldn't get any more perfect---  
“However, we still have a shax demon problem at the Institute so I'd suggest we continue this later”

“ _By the Angel_ , Alexander!”, Magnus scolds, but he's smiling and so is Alec. What an odd feeling. Odd, but strangely pleasant. Not bad at all.

By the time Magnus portals them to the Institute, the demon problem has already been taken care of, but at the sight of Alec, Maryse gives a long speech about responsibility and shadowhunter duty that neither Magnus nor Alec really pay attention to. Instead, they focus on the speedy beating of their hearts, the shivers down their spine and their uneven breaths as their hands lock together and smile to themselves knowingly.

Because Magnus Bane did not believe in love. It was stupid and mundane. Yet, the same Magnus Bane now found himself more than willing to try his chance at love with one Alec Lightwood who was sweet enough to offer him guidance and support through his first attempt at a real relationship. And Magnus accepted it, _of course he did_ , how could he not, with Alec standing so close to him, his messy dark hair making his beautiful hazel eyes stand out, both of their breaths mixing up together, their hands tightly sealed like a promise?

He had told himself it was worth to try, because Magnus Bane did not believe in love, but now, drowning inside the mesmerising gaze of one Alec Lightwood, he was fairly certain love existed, and it had a face; dark, ruffled locks, hazel irises, full lips and pitch black runes on pale skin. Love existed, and his name was Alexander Lightwood.

And Magnus? Magnus wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
